Parenting

Last night I was in conversation into the small hours with some young people. The subject veered at one point to Attention Deficit Disorder and similar syndromes. Some of the women there had young children of school age. I think I was mildly surprised that they regarded ADD as hokum. They all seemed to accept that children will misbehave and boys in particular will push the envelope and are often more difficult; however they were all of a mind that firm and consistent discipline (and patience) was the answer rather than drugs. They were all in agreement that some teachers tend to ascribe any difficulty to ADD and frequently refer them.

Of course I agree with their position. there is no substitute for good old fashioned "common sense" and tried and tested methods for rearing children. Why is it that all the accumulated experience of centuries must be tossed aside in favour of "expert" intervention and a (usually) chemical solution. These young parents are right to be concerned that their children may be subdued temporarily by chemicals when no one knows the long term impact of such intervention.

It is only two generations ago that children were corrected and punished if necessary. It wasn't always fair from the child's point of view, but it worked. I cannot remember an instance of a child in my own experience of primary and secondary school who could not be handled by a teacher. Now it appears that there are many in today's schools who cannot be tamed by present day methods.

So, no consistent rules from split families, indulgent treatment from parents who feel guilty about spending too much time away from their children, a refusal to allow teachers to act in loco parentis in any meaningful way, a lot of hand-wringing from the authorities and we end up with a vacuum that is filled by self-appointed "experts" who are happy to prescribe any theoretical solution to a problem they have no personal commitment to.

And as with so many areas of life nowadays, the hard solution - in this case old fashioned parenting - is the one many people like to avoid.

One ray of hope however (and the women I was listening to last night are probably not representative) is that some mothers and fathers are still committed to oold fashioned parenting.